What childhood messages do you think still echo in your mind?
"Life is not all fun and games."
"You're so funny."
"Do unto others..."
"You're a born teacher."
"Children should be..."
"You're good at..."
"You were a mistake from day one."
"Your hands are so healing."
Over time, messages become unconscious dictates that morph into values, and sometimes, limitations that follow us into our adult lives.
At University, I neither sought nor expected help. It never occurred to me. Instead, I believed, "You're in college now; you're supposed to go it alone." (A message stemming from my adolescence, "You think you're so smart, figure it out on your own.") Imagine saying that to a kid. But I'm sure my dad growing up, was only passing on what he received.)
I was thinking those times differ from our "now-culture" of coaches, mentors, doulas, tutors, and of course Google, but maybe not?
I've seen the admirable qualities of Independence and Strength mutate into Perfectionism and Resistance, resulting in Incompletion of desired outcomes such as that longed-for business, passion project, or book.
I still tend to "do it all myself" to the point of isolating and suffering in silence. So I can relate to your tenacious independence streak. That's our Kryptonite at work. At least I'm not alone in that. (LOL) If you're a Visioneer, a Pleasure Magnet, or a True-Heart Writer*, you can relate. Isolation is not the healthiest of choices, and it can kill creativity and productivity and lead to addictive behavior.
If you are like the old me in my college days, here's a different message. "I can do it "for" myself, but I don't have to do everything "by myself."
Secret #1. Let's add a new, more powerful message for you. Look in the mirror once a day and say, "I am."
(Neat, tidy, powerful. and this message erases many of the others!)
#2. After 25 years working with writers whose purposes varied and whose styles and techniques couldn't be more diverse, my most effective and treasured mentoring secret is this:
Listen for your souls' whisper first.
Imagine the birth of even a tiny piece of writing as though it comes from the creative center point of your body.
FEEL THE WORDS, don't strain your brain because your brain is a better tool for fixing structure, making sense, and correcting grammar AFTER the ideas bubble forth!
But here's the show-stopper; someone else's brain can help with the grammar bits that overwhelm and stifle your creativity or snag your story flow. That's why God created Grammarly (Secret #3), and the Gods, Goddesses & Non-Binary Royalty- BOOK EDITORS!
Brilliant as they are, even the most talented editor cannot tell your story, and if you don't tell it, it will never be told.
Exit stage left past Melissa Maya Chandra Gilbert Rowling.
~ NAIL YOUR PASSION– a left-field exercise ~
The phone rings. It's the producer for TED Talks. She's in a scheduling pinch and needs you to fill a 15-min TED-X slot that starts one hour from now.
What will your topic be?
What's your ordinary extraordinary story?
What do you stand for?
What is your Soul Mission?
How will you hold the audience in your hand and leave them cheering or thoughtful by the end of your talk?
Ideally, record, then transcribe your speech! OR type spontaneous ideas off the top of your head and email me at [email protected]